| http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=832239006&n=2
I hate my xanga. The colors suck and I look fat in my picture. That link makes me want to cry. I've tried to give this up, but it makes me feel accomplished. I get too jealous when I see other people who have EDs; I feel violated even. This hate, control, peace, and sense of death is mine.
In life it feels like more and more is always being asked of me, I fear that I won't be succesful, and alot of things hurt me.
Five more pounds sounds so much nicer than facing the weight of the world.
I'm giving in.
Goal today:
1) 2 protein shakes and a sandwhich
2) run for an hour
3) discover how not to sleep eat
4) become integrated into the pro xanga world
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| <embed src="http://lads.myspace.com/videos/vplayer.swf?u=YUhSMGNEb3ZMMk52Ym5SbGJuUXViVzkyYVdWekxtMTVjM0JoWTJVdVkyOXRMekF3TURnek1qSXZOakF2TURrdk9ETXlNak01TURBMkxtWnNkZz09&d=249" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="430" height="346"></embed><br>Get this video and more at <a href="http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=832239006&n=2">MySpace.com</a> |
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| I lost .5 only
EVERYTHING else left to lose
:]
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| I DIDNT EAT YESTERDAY
IM NOT GOING TO EAT TODAY
AND I WON'\T EAT TOMOROW
CUZ IM GOING TO BE A
SUPER MODEL
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| nobody cares
that's the truth
Fuck me
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